My name is Christopher. I am 35 years old and I have recently been released after a 5-year prison sentence for Convicted Felon in Possession of a Firearm. I was arrested for these charges in Murray County (Chatsworth) Georgia and sentenced to serve a straight 4 on these charges. When I caught these charges, I was actually facing a lot worse because they originally had me charged with 2nd Degree Burglary, Convicted Felon in Possession of a Firearm, Theft by Taking, Entering Auto, and Theft by Deception. With my past criminal record, I was easily facing 20 years or more of my life behind those walls. I am writing this testimony because since I have been released on January 16th of 2024, my entire life has turned around for the better and I hope that my story can help some of you to find encouragement and motivation to achieve the things you have always wanted to.
We all have a background. Whether it is drugs or drinking, hustling, robbing and stealing, murder, or whatever your personal case may be, it is NEVER too late to change. It is NEVER too late to make a difference. It is NEVER too late to become a better and more successful individual. But you cannot look to anyone else to make it happen for you. You cannot play the pity game and hope that it falls in your lap. Hell, you can’t even pray to God and expect it to just happen overnight. Even our God, our Creator Himself will not just hand it to you. If you want to change it has to come from within yourself. You have to first find yourself and accept who you are. Only then can you truly become free and at peace with yourself.
Now this is not some kind of bullshit you’d hear in an AA or NA meeting. I’m not going to sugarcoat a damn thing for you. IT IS HARD AND YOU HAVE TO WORK FOR IT! But before you say “I can’t do it” or “I’m trying so hard” I will tell you a little about myself and the shit I have been through with the hopes that you will understand that if I can do it then you damn sure can!
You see, growing up I never had any stability. I never lived in one town for very long. I never once stayed in a school long enough to make solid friends, join into sports or recreation, join any groups or clubs, or any other social activities. My mother was addicted to meth, crack, pain pills, and God only knows what else. She was with different men who beat her, played games with both my mother and me and got into our heads, And I was abused physically and sexually by some of her boyfriends. By the age of 8 I could literally describe in detail how to do meth, crack, heroin, and pills in just about any way possible just from watching her and her friends.
I have lived in housed infested with roaches and rats. I have lived in houses where our entire family slept in a living room with boarded up windows, having to boil water on a stove and pour it into a bath tub where all 3 of us children shared the same bath water. The home was also labeled as condemned by the city. I never had nice clothes, toys, shoes, gaming systems, etc. By the time I was 11 years old I had begun to see the lifestyle my mother and her friends were living and I started stealing her pills and meth and selling it around the trailer park we lived in. I started to like the money I had on my own and I got those things for myself. Then I got greedy and if I couldn’t buy it, I would go steal it. I had no discipline or structure. I ran the streets and did what I wanted.
I ran away from home when I was 16 and went to Murfreesboro, TN with some friends and a girl I had fallen for. It wasn’t long before all of those so-called friends and the girl deserted me. I was stranded with no money and no place to go. I was sleeping under a set of stairs outside of the public library for over a week. I was stealing food to survive, I was robbing people’s homes and sheds and stealing stuff from stores like Wal-Mart or Home Depot to pawn for money. I got on cocaine and started drinking really heavily.
One day I got caught stealing some movies from Wal-Mart to sell and went to RYDC, from there a group home. My mother dropped everything and came to get me. She quit drugs and she got a job and she came to make sure I was not committed to the State of TN. By this time, however, in my mind I had built up such and anger and resentment that my downward spiral had already started. So much depression and pain from the feeling of being alone that I didn’t even see what she was trying to do and that she was doing it for ME. I was hurting inside and I was pissed at the world. And the worst part was I didn’t even know why. This was normal for me. This is how I thought everyone felt. This is all I knew.
Over the next few years, I started to fight with addictions. I started breaking the law in worse ways. I started stealing cars, kicking in doors, chasing women who didn’t give a shit about me. The pain and the anger kept growing stronger every day. I dealt with fake friends, lost women I loved, lost loved ones, burned bridges, and I began to fuel myself with the anger and pain until it was all that kept me going.
When I was 24, I got a girl pregnant and 9 months later my life changed when my little girl was born. I was scared to death. I didn’t know what to do. I was broke, a drug addict, no job, living out of my car, working for a traveling carnival, and here I find out I had a daughter coming. At this point I “tried” to make a change, so me and the mother of my child moved to her mother’s house in Macon GA.
For the next 2 years, I was a real piece of shit and a horrible father and boyfriend. I never abused my child nor my girlfriend, but I wasn’t there as I should have been either. I was partying like hell, doing a LOT of cocaine, I was still robbing and stealing, and I wouldn’t keep a job. I always made sure my child had what she wanted or needed materialistically and when I was there, I gave her a lot of love and attention. But I wasn’t in love with my baby mama and I couldn’t stand being around her. She tried, I admit she tried like hell to love me and gave me her whole heart, but I just wasn’t there with her because I let previous women break me down and there was no turning back when it came to love in my eyes. So, I stayed gone, only coming home to see my child for brief periods and make sure she didn’t need anything. Then I was in the streets again.
One day I was arrested for Driving on a Suspended License and my baby mama found someone else and left me high and dry. I couldn’t blame her. I wasn’t giving her the love and support she needed or desired. I may not have cheated, never abused her physically, but emotionally I was not there for her. So, when I got out, I left and moved to Dawsonville with my grandmother and grandfather, and started to get it together, I got a decent job as a Huddle House cook making pretty good money.
Well one day, my baby mama and HER mother stop allowing me to see or talk to my daughter, regardless of the efforts I was making to change. Long story short, for 3 years I fought a battle with them and never once even got to speak to my little girl. I got back into my depression and was introduced to Meth on a much more personal level than in my childhood. I started selling it. Then I started doing it. Then I started SHOOTING it. Then I lost sight of who I was and the rage and depression resurfaced once again, only amplified beyond anything it had ever been. I joined a gang, started selling massive amounts of methamphetamine, roughly 5 kilos per week. I didn’t give a shit. My whole life was that little girl who had been snatched from me. What the fuck did I have to lose?
Well, this all lead up to the charges I was sentenced to prison for. All of these charges were dropped except the Convicted Felon in Possession of a Firearm, which should have been dropped as well. A guy got caught for burglarizing the house I was accused of and blamed me. Well, this individual fabricated the story that it was me who did it. With my background, it is not surprising that he was believed over me. Well, he had actually brought the gun to try to sell it to me. I am a musician so I asked if I could take a photo holding it to turn into an album cover. I Photoshopped this photo and turned it into an album cover and posted it on Facebook. This image was the reason for my conviction, along with the statement given. No weapon, not even a shell casing was found. Yet I served roughly 5 years incarcerated on this. Something I didn’t even do. Karma is a bitch.
During the time in prison, I saw people being extorted, I witnessed murders first hand, I saw corrupt officers, I almost got stabbed for some shit that had nothing to do with me, I had to “defend myself” in a very bad situation one time. I have seen people overdose, I have had someone I grew close to bleed out and die in my arms after being stabbed repeatedly, and a I saw a lot of other things that I would have never wanted my worst enemies to experience. That place is hell and it isn’t somewhere anyone wants to be. AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO!
One day, roughly 2 years ago to this day, I made a call one evening to my mother and she tells me that there was someone who wanted to talk to me. I am thinking at this time that it is going to be my sister or someone. I have a meth pipe loaded to the brim in one hand, the receiver in the other. I ask my mom who it was and she tells me to hang on. A few seconds later I heard the 2 words that changed my life FOREVER... “Hey Daddy.”
I was at a loss for words. My jaw dropped. I had absolutely no clue what to say. I looked down at the pipe loaded with, I believe, 2 ½ caps (Chapstick Caps Full) of meth. Roughly 150-200 per cap where I was. I dropped the pipe to the floor where it shattered, and I kicked the remains of it away from me. I have not looked back to it since that moment. I had a very good conversation with my little girl and swore from that moment on that I will NEVER go back to who I was before. I will NEVER touch dope, or doing anything again to keep me from that beautiful little angel. And I meant it.
I was transferred later out of that warzone I was in and sent to Jenkins Correctional Facility where I was given multiple opportunities to start making a change in my life and better myself. I was then given the opportunity to participate in a class where the facility partners with Pivot Tech School of Technology to learn Data Analytics and Computer Coding. I accepted this chance and it was one of the best choices of my life. I then spoke to a counselor about the Go Further Release program which, may I add has been a blessing as well. A couple of month later I was informed that I was being released on Parole.
Since I was released, I have been able to continue the course through Pivot Tech, and on top of that I have been offered a Full Scholarship to the school to further my education and progress it to Cyber Security and Software Engineering. I have remained clean and sober, and I have a job starting soon making $20 per hour as an electrician. I have my daughter back in my life. And I have started a side company doing Graphic Design. I have a huge support team ranging from family, friends, Go Further Release, and even people I have never seen or met. I have repaired broken relationships and rebuilt burned bridges and I have such a motivation and drive to succeed that nothing and no one will ever hold me back. I have found myself. I have found a weapon to use in the war against my demons. I have finally turned the table on the war inside of my mind and I WILL emerge victorious. YOU CAN, TOO!
I haven’t gone to AA/NA Meetings, I haven’t gone to rehab, and I haven’t gone through some bullshit programs that try to tell you, “This is how you have to do it.” Nah, damn that. I haven’t begged and pleaded with people for help or given some pity party bullshit to get people to feel bad or get attention. I don’t dwell on my past and feel sorry for myself. I don’t blame people for my own issues and problems. I give every day all I have and make this shit happen. Failure is not in the cards for me and damnit, they don’t have to be for ANYONE.
Stop whining and bitching that things are not going right or that you have had a rough life. Stop blaming people because YOU made stupid choices. Stop making excuses and sob stories and looking for a crutch when you need someone or something to blame. Suck it the hell up, get off your ass, make a goal, and chase it. Only once you accept that YOU are the one who made YOUR mistakes can you move forward with your life and hope for a better future. No one told you to make the choices in your life, and when it comes to being a better person, NO ONE can do it for you.
True happiness comes from within yourself. You can pray to God for the answers but what you have to realize it that He is not going to give you the answers how you want to get them. He will give you SITUATIONS! It is how you assess and react to those situations that will determine the outcome. THAT is the free will the Bible speaks of. It still falls back on YOU to make the right choice and choose the right path. All God will do is point you in the right direction. It’s up to you not to miss the correct road and end up lost.
Eliminate the words “try,” “can’t,” “might,” “won’t,” “maybe,” and any other word that promotes self-doubt or negativity from your vocabulary and just DO because you CAN. I did it and my life has been total chaos, so why the hell can’t you? Suck it up, buttercup! It’s 2024 and the world’s chaotic as hell. You want your life to be a part of the chaos? Do you want to fail or succeed? Do you want to be remembered or forgotten? Find the answers to these questions and then you will find yourself. Find yourself and you will find true happiness and peace. Find happiness and peace and you will reach success.
Pain is the prerequisite for joy and failure is the prerequisite for success. Without one how the hell do you ever expect to see the other? You will still face hardships. I still have drama and bullshit every day. But I will be damned if it makes me go back. I am not where I want to be yet by any means, but I damn sure am not where I was.
And if it helps, whenever you feel like everything and everyone is against you, everything is falling apart or getting too hard, if it feels like the struggles and the negativity is getting too hard, if it feels like you have sacrificed everything you got and gained nothing, do me one favor. Ask yourself how Jesus Christ felt when He made HIS sacrifice.
Much Love To You ALL!
I believe in you. Believe in yourself and nothing can stand in your way.
